WTF Was I Thinking?!

When breastfeeding and peri-menopause go head to head.

WTF was I thinking?!

I had my daughter when I was 43 years old. She was the answer to a longstanding prayer. My age was of no concern, except to my mother who was mad that it took me so long to produce a grandchild for her. I was good with it at first, having many mom friends who were around my age. But then I began to go through peri-menopause with a toddler, which became menopause with a tween.

The hormones were fluctuating hard and fast. Hers were pumping up like Arnold Schwarzenegger while mine were fleeing the scene like a car chase on a Los Angeles freeway. She went from a pink wearing girl to an all black wearing surly person with acne and an attitude. I, on the other hand, continued to wear yoga pants and loose tunics like every other sleep deprived mother.

The thing is, motherhood is so often seen as the most important thing a woman will ever do, bringing her closer to Nirvana and the Angels and Gods! Motherhood is not often seen as a time you will be in public with the baby’s spit up on your shoulder, possibly some poop on your shoe or even in your hair, your breasts leaking milk through the pad because you weren’t able to pump in time at work. Nope, not until honest moms finally began to show some of the truth on social media. I’m not talking about the perfect “Mommy Bloggers” here, just the real moms trying to keep their shit together.

We women have got to stop thinking everything has to be perfect, like a celebrity having a baby and comes out of her house with a flat belly! No ma’am, that is not how shit works! We women also need to start having the serious conversations about menopause and what fresh hell it can be. Or not be.

All I know is I may or may not have taken a brief break from reality a time or two while on my menopause journey. I may or may not have sworn off dating and relationships for good. I may or may not have lost my ability to be creative in almost every aspect of my life.

But here I am, post menopausal and ready to take on the world again! Albeit much slower, possibly with my cane in one hand and a glass of champagne in the other.